im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
