moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
he just fucked me for my cheese..
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
