I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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