i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Randomize
