So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Randomize
