Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
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