dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Randomize