That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I just had sex on a roof
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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