haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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