Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
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