and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize