Pappa wants mamma naked
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I am spending my child support on dildos
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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