i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Randomize
