Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
