who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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