So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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