When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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