Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
