The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize