That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I think I just sharted jello shots
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
