omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
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