im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
