new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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