Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
