Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Im part way to drunk.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
