4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
