even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
