Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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