i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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