I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
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