either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
