I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
