Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I love having hate sex.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
