they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
