Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Boobs speak an international language.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Randomize
