did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
