omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
So apparently I’m into choking now
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
