Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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