I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Randomize
