I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
