yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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