If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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