Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
