Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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