I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
