We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
