Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
