Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
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