oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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