She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
