i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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