He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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