My nipple is on Facebook.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
