I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
