theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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