Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
