put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Success! We fucked roommates!
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
