saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Randomize
