the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
