remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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