One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
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