Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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