duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
