i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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