why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
